Dance Music For Nerds


You know I would
5/14/2011, 10:08 am
Filed under: Cat, Frustrations, Geek-Out, Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, School, Social, Spirituality

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Oh baby,
I’m so tired
The man…from the government
The man…from the tax board
The man…from the public school
The man owns the golden rule,
yeah
I’m everybody’s slave, I made you my slave
You said this I do for you
If it would help to give the world back
What it gave, then I would
I would
I would
I would
I would for you
I would for you
You say my eyes are crazy eyes
Sometimes they are and so are you
And if you wonder what I would do
I would do anything if I could
You know I would
I would
I would
I would for you
I would for you
I would for you
I would for you
I would for you

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I’ve wasted years walking for them gals…
2/6/2011, 1:08 pm
Filed under: Geek-Out, Happy!, Music, Spirituality

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The Avett Brothers - Carolina Jubilee
Ain’t got no money
But I’ve got time
I don’t care about the sunshine
But I love to see you smile

So you say you’re lonesome
Baby dry your eyes
Well there’s a road to your door step
I’ll be there by morning’s light

But I don’t have an answer
For when you ask me why
I know I love you baby like I know I never ever
Gonna let you ever say goodbye
Say goodbye, Say goodbye

I’ve got an old Ford pickup truck
I got a Cadillac
And I don’t care how I get there
Transportation can’t hold me back

But I don’t have an answer
For when you ask me why
I know I love you baby like I know I never ever
Gonna let you ever say goodbye
Say goodbye, Say goodbye

Cause I’ve had bad lovers, yeah
That walked to my back door
I’ve wasted years walkin’ for them gals
That’s how I know you’re worth walking for

So you say you’re so in love
Well baby so am I
And I don’t care if I’m on the road
I am always by your side

But I don’t have an answer
When you ask me why
I know I love you baby like I know I never ever
Gonna let you ever say goodbye
Say goodbye, Say goodbye

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Back in the 90’s…
12/21/2010, 9:00 am
Filed under: Fashion, Geek-Out, Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, Politics, Spirituality

Since watching that awesome video last Sunday, Rebel Girl has been stuck in my head! Hopefully now I can get it stuck in yours…

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That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood
She’s got the hottest trike in town
That girl she holds her head up so high
I think I wanna be her best friend, yeah

Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I think I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes oh

When she talks, I hear the revolutions
In her hips, there’s revolutions
When she walks, the revolution’s coming
In her kiss, I taste the revolution

Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes oh

That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood
I got news for you, she is!
They say she’s a dyke, but I know
She is my best friend, yeah

Rebel girl, Rebel girl
Rebel girl you are the queen of my world
Rebel girl, Rebel girl
I know I wanna take you home
I wanna try on your clothes

Love you like a sister always
Soul sister, Rebel girl
Come and be my best friend
Will you Rebel girl?
I really like you
I really wanna be your best friend
Be my Rebel girl
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Day in, day out
11/7/2010, 9:08 am
Filed under: Frustrations, Geek-Out, Happy!, Music, Social, Spirituality

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FAC-2 A Factory Sample
Feel it closing in,
Feel it closing in,
The fear of whom I call,
Every time I call,
I feel it closing in,
I feel it closing in,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out.

I feel it closing in,
As patterns seem to form.
I feel it cold and warm.
The shadows start to fall.
I feel it closing in,
I feel it closing in,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out,
Day in, day out.

I’d have the world around,
To see just whatever happens,
Stood by the door alone,
And then it’s fade away.
I see you fade away.
Don’t ever fade away.
I need you here today.
Don’t ever fade away.
Don’t ever fade away.
Don’t ever fade away.
Don’t ever fade away.
Fade away. Fade away.
Fade away. Fade away.
Fade away. Fade away.
Fade away.
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Raising heck and writing checks… it ought to be unlawful
9/22/2010, 7:07 am
Filed under: Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, Social, Spirituality

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Carolina Chocolate Drops-Genuine Negro Jig
Cornbread and butter beans
and you across the table,
Eating beans and making love
as long as I am able,
Hoeing corn and cotton too,
and when the day is over,
Ride the mule, and cut the fool,
and love again all over.

Goodbye. Don’t you cry.
I’m going to Lou’siana,
Barkin dog and a big fat hog
and marry Suzy Anna.
Sing-song, ding-dong,
I’ll take a trip to China,
Cornbread and butter beans,
and back to North Carolina.

Wearing shoes and dranken booze
it goes against the Bible.
A necktie will make you die
and cause you lots of trouble.
Streetcars and whiskey bars
and kissing pretty women.
Women yay that’s the end
of a terrible beginning.

I can’t read and don’t care
and education’s awful.
Raising heck and writing checks,
it ought to be unlawful.
Silk clothes and frilly hose
is just a waste of money.
Come with me and stay with me
and say you’ll be my honey.
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It seems so real…
7/31/2010, 7:25 am
Filed under: Frustrations, Geek-Out, Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, School, Spirituality

Hard to believe this song is 31 years old…

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Well it seems so real I can see it
And it seems so real I can feel it
And it seems so real I can taste it
And it seems so real I can hear it
So why can’t I touch it?
So why can’t I touch it?

Then it looks so real I can see it
And it feels so real I can feel it
And it tastes so real I can taste it
And it sounds so real I can hear it
So why can’t I touch it?
So why can’t I touch it?

Then it looks so real I can feel it
And it feels so real I can taste it
And it tastes so real I can hear it
And it sounds so real I can see it
So why can’t I touch it?
So why can’t I touch it?

Now it is so real I can see it
And it is so real I can feel it
And it is so real I can hear it
And it is so real I can be it
So why can’t I touch it?
So why can’t I touch it?

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Five days you work, one whole day to play
7/9/2010, 4:04 pm
Filed under: Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, Social, Spirituality

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Single
(And rollerskates)
(And rollerskates)
(And rollerskates)

Q-TIP:
Girl meets boy on Thursday night
Boy was high, girl fly like kite
They hold hands until next day
Boy then lets go, hit his way
Boy rules butt, brags to his boys
Erection brings bad boy joys
Boy thinks of that big fat back
Big black fat love, big black fat
Girl calls boy to stand him up on Saturday
Saturday

POS AND Q-TIP:
Saturday, it’s a Saturday
It’s a Saturday, it’s a Saturday
Saturday, it’s a Saturday
Saturday, it’s a Saturday

POS:
Back once more with the wallop in the score
Must I ride and rip, should I make you rock your hip
Reviver of a roller-boogie in a rink
And sure to make you think about the times
To scope fun instead of fights
(But diving from a piece of metal sure to take your life)
Yo, slip your butt to the fix of this mix
Toss that briefcase, it’s time to let loose
‘Cause you’ve worked like heck to get the week in check
So unfasten that noose around your neck
Connected like a vibe from the wheel to the foot
Come on everybody dig the funky output

VINIA:
Five days you work
One whole day to play
Come on everybody, wear your rollerskates today
It’s Saturday, Saturday
Saturday, it’s Saturday
Saturday, it’s Saturday
Saturday, it’s Saturday-ay
(Is the word, is the word, is the word)

POS:
Now as you pump your fist I reminisce
To a bounce, rock, skate, roll
Fess to impress
Hey, pretty diamond, do you like the way I’m dressed
Cool, keep the faith and be my mate
‘Cause all we need is feet
(And rollerskates)
But promote the hustle ’cause it keeps me thin
No need to talk, look who just walked in

DOVE:
(Is there a Dred on skates?)
Yes, man
(So kick the wham on this jam)
Oh Mr. Sprinkler, Mr. Sprinkler
Wet me for one, Mr. Sprinkler
I’m heatin’ high-five in a daze, no split
With a yawn I trip to the dawn
Out comes the bodies following the one idea
It’s clear, rattle to the roll
Hold back up the track, grab your rollerskates y’all
And let’s zip on by
Zip-a-de-doo-dah, let’s zip on by
Feed on a weed and we’re feeling high
Sun is on thick and the cheese is rollin’ quick
Come on, there’s no time to hide
Season is twist, spinning and winning
No hackeysack, let let me in
Spill on the bottom away, but it’s okay, huh
It’s a Saturday

POS:
Now let’s all get baked like Anita

Q-TIP:
Watch Mr. Lawnge, don’t look at the peter

DOVE:
Feel on the fun, I’ll feel on the

VINIA:
Hey, watch that!

DE LA SOUL:
It’s a Saturday

VINIA:
Now is the time
To act the fool tonight
Forget about your worries and you will be all right
It’s Saturday, Saturday
Saturday, it’s Saturday
Saturday, it’s Saturday
Saturday, it’s Saturday-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
(Aaoww)

(Saturday)
(Saturday)
(Saturday)
(Saturday)
(Saturday)
(Saturday)
(Saturday)
(Saturday)

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The word for today is “circuitous”
12/26/2007, 6:00 pm
Filed under: Christmas, Nostalgia, Spirituality

A grey day. Country roads. Christmas. If you were in a climate controlled environment and couldn’t feel the 60 degree air outside you would probably say that it looks like snow. A lethargically beautiful grey day. Due to a completely random sequence of events the Cure’s album Disintegration is playing. I am driving my father’s car. I am taking the long way.

The thing that strikes me about this scene on this day is that I have experienced it before. It was 17 Christmas’s ago and, by strange coincidence, I was 17 years old. It was a tape playing the Cure, not a cd of MP3’s. It was my parent’s car I was driving. I was taking the long way.

My age has doubled and yet I find myself in the exact same spot again. Have I traveled some weird, 17 year long circuitous loop? Or, maybe I have passed this point before without realizing it.

Of course the geek in me is wondering, “What medium will I be listening to Disintegration on the next time around?”

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Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
11/28/2007, 10:40 am
Filed under: Christmas, Music, Nostalgia, Spirituality

OK, it’s not a Christmas song per se, but it is one of my favorites from Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas collection.

With all my learnings, all my readings, and all my agnostic admissions; gospel songs still move me to a place of reverence. Hypocritical? Nah, I think it’s just that I’m a good southern boy at heart. I guess some of that upbringing can never be learned away.

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Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing
By: Robert Robinson, 1735-90

Come, Thou fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I raise my Ebenezer,
Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be;
Let that grace now like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it;
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Oh, that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in the blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy wondrous grace!
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send Thine angels soon to carry
Me to realms of endless day.



Molly’s “Hot Time, Summer In The City” Mix
11/7/2007, 2:26 pm
Filed under: Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, Social, Spirituality

I got reminded of a mix tape (CD) I made in the Summer of 2005 for Molly (Great Designer!). I gave it to her right before she left for New York. It was such a good mix that I burned it for other friends, they in turn burned it for other people.

When I was in Greenville last weekend Speight had it playing in the car at one point. I had totally forgotten about this great, great song by the Russian Futurists.

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I do pop ’cause that’s what my heart goes, I don’t call it art, no sir
That denotes that when I wrote it I had other motives
We’re never saying what we mean, it’s all Silver Screens and lights
And new heights of drama comma tension and clenchin’ fists
Love consists of on and off and a built for two coffin
When it’s summed up, the rest is a hoax and some jokes
That’s been drummed up by the suits and
They’re choking out your life in chunks from nine to five and

You ain’t never gonna get a second back

So come on let’s lose control, we’ll sell our souls to Rock and Roll and hope
We’ll die before we get old; into the wind we’re tossin’ armfuls of caution
Even when it all goes to Hell, our love for one night was pure as sunlight and
Our great big happy ending is still a dream trapped in a Guillotine

I write words ’cause these are the things I can’t say but I’ll sing to you
And I know that it’s all a cop-out but my heart, it just pops out of joint
Here’s the point girl, you should be flattered at how my words they just scatter and
Drop, to the floor ’cause you keep me nice and sore and cold down to the core
But I wouldn’t take a single second back

So come on let’s lose control, we’ll sell our souls to Rock and Roll and hope
We’ll die before we get old; into the wind we’re tossin’ armfuls of caution
Even when it all goes to Hell, our love for one night was pure as sunlight
Our great big happy ending is still a dream trapped in a Guillotine

That summer of 2005 in Greenville was a truly wonderful, magical time in my life. The world was full of possibilities and friends were literally always around the corner.

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Half a World Away
10/30/2007, 3:19 pm
Filed under: Music, Nostalgia, Spirituality

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This could be the saddest dusk
I’ve ever seen
Turn to a miracle
High alive
My mind is racing
As it always will
My hand is tired my heart aches
I’m half a world away here
My head sworn
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
Go it alone
Hold it along and hold, hold.

This lonely deep sit hollow
I’m half a world
Half the world away
My shoes are gone
My life spent
I had too much to drink
I didn’t think
And I i didn’t think of you
I guess that’s all I needed
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
Blackbirds backwards forwards and fall and hold hold.

Oh this lonely world is wasted
Pathetic eyes high alive
Blind to the tide that turns the sea
This storm it came up strong
It shook the trees
And blew away our fear
I couldn’t even hear

To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
To go it alone
And hold it along
Haul it along
And hold it
Blackbirds backwards forwards and fall and hold hold.

This could be the saddest dusk
Ive ever seen
Turn to a miracle
High alive
My mind is racing
As it always will
My hands tired my heart aches
I’m half a world away and go.



ALS Walk
9/7/2007, 11:52 am
Filed under: Frustrations, General, Social, Spirituality

Once again it is time for the annual ALS walk and once again old friend Christie Martin is participating and walking in honor of my step-dad, Les Fisher, who died of the disease last year. I’ve pasted a copy of her letter below with a link to the donation site. If you could help out, it would be most appreciated. The disease is incredibly hard on those who have it as well as the people close to those who have it. If you are unaware of what ALS is like, a simple summary is this: you lose control of your body but your mind stays sharp. It starts with being less mobile than you’re used to and ends with your organs shutting down. You lose the ability to communicate even though your mind is unaffected. A truly gruesome way to go.

Hello Everyone,

I hope all of you are well. I am requesting donations again this year for the ALS Walk, September 29th, 10:00am at the Greenville Town Common. This year I am walking in honor of Gay Wilentz, Les Fisher, and Tom Martoccia. You were all so generous last year with your gifts and I appreciated it very much. I hope you can give your support this year as well.

Please click on the link below to go to my Personal Walk Page to donate online. Or you may send a check to made out to ALS Catfish Chapter to:

Christie Martin
113 Breezewood Drive
Apt G
Greenville NC 27858

Thank you!

Christie

Click here to visit my personal page.

If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://web.alsa.org/site/TR/Walks/NorthCarolinaWalk?px=1345918&pg=personal&fr_id=2540&et=8zHNrzTnNMYueNMpIp6BTA..&s_tafId=21195

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Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me
6/19/2007, 4:31 pm
Filed under: Frustrations, Music, Nostalgia, Spirituality

Track 2, “Catch”, everyone sing along:

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Yeah I know you remind me of
A girl I think I used to know
Yeah I’d see her when the days got colder
On those days when it felt like snow

You know I even think that she stared like you
She used to just stand there and stare
And roll her eyes right up to heaven
And make like I just wasn’t there

And she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

And sometimes we would spend the night
Just rolling about on the floor
And I remember even though it felt soft at the time
I always used to wake up sore…

You know I even think that she smiled like you
She used to just stand there and smile
And her eyes would go all sort of far away
And stay like that for quite a while

And I remember she used to fall down a lot
That girl was always falling
Again and again
And I used to sometimes try to catch her
But never even caught her name

Yes I sometimes even tried to catch her
But never even caught her name

And now lets skip to track 15, “The Perfect Girl”:

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You’re such a strange girl
I think you come from another world
You’re such a strange girl
I really don’t understand a word
You’re such a strange girl
I’d like to shake you around and around
You’re such a strange girl
I’d like to turn you
All upside down
You’re such a
Strange girl
The way you look like you do
You’re such a strange girl
I want
To be with you

I think i’m falling
I think i’m falling in
I think i’m falling in love with you
With you

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Does anybody really know what time it is?
5/2/2007, 11:22 am
Filed under: Geek-Out, Happy!, Music, Nostalgia, School, Social, Spirituality

Numbers, numbers, numbers while they don’t invade, consume, and drive me mad ala “A Beautiful Mind” I always smile when I see little coincidences and other bits of symmetry pop up.

We all have probably seen the email about May 6th at three past 2 am, the time/date will be: 02:03:04 5/6/7. Last year in April there was a similar moment when it was 01:02:03 4/5/6, etc… More important than all that nonsense though is today’s date: 5/2/7, 5+2=7 it also happens to be my 34th birthday: 3+4=7. Conspiracy? No. Cool coincidence? Yes. If I was a conspiracy theorist I would also point out that my wonderful girlfriend, Laura, has got us tickets to see Blonde Redhead in Chapel Hill this Saturday. They are touring in support of their new album entitled “23”, Laura happens to be 23 years old. The concert is on May 5th, 5/5…5+5=10, which is also the number of tracks on their album. Coincidence? I think not! To quote (probably poorly) Paul Thomas Anderson at the beginning of Magnolia, “These things don’t just happen, do they?”

The long and short of it is that it is my Birthday today. Thanks goes out to the school system for sending me to a half day workshop today but paying the substitute for a full day. I am now sitting in a coffee shop listening to the new Blonde Redhead record on the headphones, typing on the school system’s laptop. I hate being here without my MacBook Pro, I love throwing contemptuous, holier than thou looks at PC users while exchanging knowing glances and nods with my fellow Mac people. But, all that aside, it is a nice, sun-shiny birthday day. I am at a non-corporate coffee shop where I can be a jack-ass and order a triple shot latte breve short and they know what I mean.

I now have plenty of time to walk, pick up a few books from Barnes and Nobles, send late birthday cards to my two fellow May 2nd birthday peeps Mistie and Glen, open my State Employee’s Credit Union account, make a dental appointment, etc… All the stuff that I keep putting off. A good Birthday all in all. Friday I will have dinner with friends, celebrate, and make a drunken ass of myself…if this old man can still manage to stay up late enough to do that. Birthdays are no longer the pseudo depressing business that my first couple 30’s ones were. Maybe that is because I am no longer a drifting, floundering college student. I am a man with a plan who has been able to check several things off of his to-do list this past year. Add that to the fact that whenever I do get depressed I can take solace in the fact that while I am 34, Dr. Banks is 35; now that’s old! 😉



Spring Fever
3/22/2007, 9:56 am
Filed under: Geek-Out, Nostalgia, School, Social, Spirituality

An old room mate of mine used to live like a monk except for this time of year. He had a line that served both as an excuse and an explanation for his yearly exploitations; “It’s spring time, and I’m Jeff.”
I have relationship milestones that are 90% accurate. If a relationship lasts a couple of weeks the first big hump will happen at the three month mark. That’s when you either switch to more serious mode or you go your separate ways. Similar things happen at the 6-month and 1-year points and on and on. The exception to this rule? In spring time all bets are off, anything can happen and anything goes.
All of this is just anecdotal evidence of the strange power that the warming weather and the blooming flowers hold. The high school where I teach lets out for Spring Break next week. The low hum of dissatisfaction among the students is becoming a roar. Not only is it spring time with a vacation just around the corner, but it is also the end of the long, long stretch with no breaks that follows Christmas Vacation.
In short, the natives are restless and the tension is so thick it could be cut with a knife. I sit and look at the tests that need to be graded and the blank stares of students that are a thousand miles away, coupled with the constant reminders to get back to work that I utter every five minutes to the students who are at the opposite end of the spectrum and full of energy. I have started to empathize with the english teacher who yesterday had her students help her load up her car before she just drove off, apparently quitting in the middle of the school day with no notice at all. Hopefully I will survive and live to see my new niece in two weeks. But you never know, for even though I recognize its spell descending onto those around me, I myself am not immune.
It’s spring time, and I’m Dan.



ALS Walk
8/2/2006, 8:39 am
Filed under: Frustrations, General, Social, Spirituality

Good friend Christie Martin is once again participating in the ALS walk, this is a copy of the email she sent out requesting sponsors/donations. Given my step-dad’s recent death due to the disease and the fact that Christie has dedicated this years walk to him, I felt inclined to post this and to encourage everyone to donate if they can.

Dear Friends,

The ALS Association – Jim “Catfish” Hunter Chapter is
kicking off its annual Down East Walk to D’Feet ALS in
Greenville,NC on September 30. I am walking this year
and I am asking you to join me in the fight against
Lou Gehrig’s disease by making a contribution in
support of my Team.

Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) is a fatal,
neuromuscular disease, which attacks the motor neurons
making even the simplest movements of walking,
speaking and gesturing impossible. Ultimately the body
becomes paralyzed, yet through it all, the mind
remains sharp for most.

I am walking this year in memory of Professor Gay
Wilentz and Les Fisher, two friends of mine who passed
away this year from ALS.

The ALS Association helps families in their day-to-day
struggle with ALS. They offer many crucial patient
service programs, as well as fund cutting-edge
research worldwide. Funds raised from the Walk will
support those programs.

Every ninety minutes someone is diagnosed with ALS.
Please help by making a donation – large or small – to
fight ALS. You may make a check payable to The ALS
Association and mail your check to me:

(Drop me an email, dan@dmfn.net for her address…

didn’t want to publish it on the website)

or donate online now by making a secure credit card
donation at www.catfishchapter.org, or by using the
link to my personal page below.

Thank you in advance for your support!

Together for a Cure,
Christie Martin

My Personal Page:

http://walk.catfishchapter.org/site/TR?px=1057941&pg=personal&fr_id=1190&s_tafId=3211

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Bizarre Celebrations
7/18/2006, 12:29 pm
Filed under: Frustrations, Geek-Out, Physics, School, Social, Spirituality

Well, catching up from all my time away during the past few months. I’ve been assisting with Summer Ventures, which is tons of fun, as well as making progress on the ever important research. During the months leading up to my Step-Dad’s passing I felt like I wasn’t able to do anything at all, I was completely lacking in motivation. It is amazing the turn-around I’ve had in just a few weeks. I was working in the Acoustics Lab until 11pm last night, back at Summer Ventures at 8:30am, and am also managing to work a little on the new edition of a physics book I am helping out with. That would of been a months worth of accomplishments for me not to long ago, but now I feel like a weight has been lifted and I am zooming along. My counselor tells me that a sense of relief is normal, I talked to my mom and she has similar feelings, but underneath it all both of us can’t help but feel a little guilty.

Onto brighter things: the photo page is back up and running, I am still tweaking the theme, so it may change a little in the future. Also, I hope to sit down next week and overhaul DMFN.net, Will has inspired me.

And for brighter, brighter things: my friend that is a girl, Laura, came down and stayed the weekend along with my mom’s Chihuahua, Sylvia. It was a great time having the ladies here with me, it was just sad to see them go…though I definitely miss Laura more (sorry Sylvia!).

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Roll credits
7/7/2006, 4:57 pm
Filed under: Frustrations, General, Spirituality

Leslie Hawes Fisher was my step-father for a scant 8 years. He was a good man, when my brother and I met him for the first time we were very thankful that he had entered our mother’s life. I love my mother very much, but she does have a habit of believing people and seeing only the best in them, which has led to her being taken advantage of more times than I care to remember. So, Zech and I were happy that she and Les were together, we no longer had to worry about her as we had in the past. During the time they were married, my mother finished earning her degree from East Carolina University, her and Les travelled to Hawaii and Europe, and we all came to know and love many of Les’s cousins and family. Les’s health began declining a few years ago, at first it was little things, not being able to stand for as long as he used to, having more and more trouble working the clutch and brake on his Mustang GT, etc… By last Thanksgiving he was barely able to move around, and only then with assistance. Shortly after the Christmas of 2005, Les was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). Changes started happening more and more rapidly, culminating with him not being able to eat or speak clearly on Saturday June 24th. I was here looking after him that day, allowing my mom to take a break and go into town. Laura was here with me as well (as an aside, Laura has been a simply wonderful, supportive friend and more through this whole ordeal.) I had to start teaching Summer Ventures at ECU the following Monday, so I commuted from my Mom’s house to Greenville everyday. While on my lunch break Wednesday afternoon I called to check in and see how things were going, my mom was in town with family getting the checking account, etc… in order, but Les’s day-nurse (a great woman by the name of Clarice) informed me that his health was declining rapidly. I immediately left Greenville, by the time I arrived, Les was non-responsive, basically in a comatose state. My mom had not returned from town yet so I waited outside to meet her and let her know about the change in Les’s state before she walked in to see him herself. That night was one of the longest in my life, I allowed my mother to sleep while I stayed up administering Les his medicine every three hours. The next morning there was no change in Les’s condition. I stayed up a little longer, slightly delirious, joking with the day nurse and relatives that were gathering. I was getting ready to sleep when Clarice called me into the room. Les’s face had turned an ashen gray, within a couple of minutes he made one last gulping breath, and his lips turned from a soft pink to the same color grey as his skin almost instantaneously. What followed after the initial shock was a whirlwind of phone calls, people in and out, saying my final good-byes, and looking after my mom. Laura was nice enough to come down and be with me and help out even though I hadn’t had the nerve to ask her. People showed up, we had the visitation, we had the funeral, my mom had her house gutted by relatives, and I managed to get my mother to go on a several day road trip with her brother to get away from it all. The final kicker: This Monday, July 10th would of been her and Les’s anniversary.

Initially I was busy, concerned for my mother, helping her out, running interference between her and well-meaning friends and family that were crushing in all around her. It is only now, a week and a day later that I sit and write this that I realize how deep an affect this whole experience has had on me. I am moving in with my Mother next month for a little while, ostensibly to be there with her during this transitional time, but the truth is I am also in need of some time. Some time to work and not worry about school, some time to read books for pleasure not just for class, some time to reflect and organize this thing called Dan. Thanks to everyone who has been there for me through this time, I love and appreciate all you’ve done more than you could possibly know. Even if it was just a phone call or email, it all helps…quite a bit.



Down to this
6/30/2006, 5:03 am
Filed under: Frustrations, Social, Spirituality

My step-father passed away yesterday morning. He had not been able to speak, eat, or drink since this past Saturday. He entered into a non-responsive, coma-like state on Wednesday afternoon. It is amazing what a machine the human body is, I think whatever “Les” (my step-father) is left when he entered the coma, but his body kept chugging along, gasping for breath until Thursday morning. It has all been a little sureal, seeing as how it has been expected, and the rush of things that must be dealt with, the calls that must be made, etc… after it happens. I will write more about Les next week, and more about this experience as well, but for now; that is all.



Life is a Cabaret-o-shun
6/7/2006, 8:19 pm
Filed under: General, School, Social, Spirituality

Visiting the hide-aways of my youth lately, most recently it was a camping trip with Laura down to the Outer Banks. We stayed at Frisco Woods, where I camped 20 years ago (am I really old enough to utter such phrases?) with my family, took the 2 and a half hour ferry I remember sitting with my father on, boogie boarded at the beach I’ve been surfing at many, many times. Done a lot of questioning as of late and I think that this will be my last month in Greenville. I will be moving back to Carteret County for a little while, work a job, help out my mom, and do some soul searching…which I find to be a lot easier to do sitting on the porch of my mom’s house looking at the water than sitting at the Europub looking at a beer. I hope I stay in touch with my friends, I hope they stay in touch with me. I hope my step-dad’s ALS runs its course quietly and does not cause this truly good man to suffer more than neccesary.

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